Where are our "royals" at?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=522552&in_page_id=1770&ct=5

Prince Harry, 3rd in line to the British throne, has been, by all accounts mixing it up with the Taliban in southern Afghanistan for the last 3 months, and they decide to pull him out after Matt Drudge decides to expose his deployment.

Drudge is an idiot for breaking this story, and Harry has balls of stone for hanging out in the neighborhood that he has been, not a very nice locale by any one's estimation. This brings me to my question? Where are America's "royals"? That 1-3% of our population that is at the top of the heap? As someone who has been here and there in the Army for the last 12 years or so, they're MIA. Gone. They don't exist. Is this a problem? For some it may be, but who really cares, this is the way that its been since time immemorial. There have been a few notable exceptions, but since the end of the Draft Era 35 years ago, we have been a military populated by the lower to middle class. The rich and superrich don't have to serve, and if they choose not to, that's their right, hence the term "all volunteer" military.

By all accounts, we have the lowest percentage of members of Congress ever that have not served in the military in the history if America. We have a *snicker*(I only snicker at that because when you vault over 150+ people on the waiting list to join the Guard at a time when it was the same as dodging the draft, then your service is tainted) Air Guardsman in the White House, and a 5 time draft dodger as the Veep. While we have been a nation at war for more than 6 years, and we have less and less people who know what its like to serve your nation, then alot of folks think that unless you have some idea what its like, then you shouldn't send the young of this nation into harms way. I call bullshit, that what we have the DOD, and the Joint Chiefs of Staff for. These advisers to the Powers that Be are the one's responsible for telling these folks what the Servicemembers are going through.

I don't need the rich to do my job for me, you want to join and sit at my shoulder and fight alongside me, grab an M4 and lets do it. Money and doesn't make someone a better Soldier or not. The desire to learn the trade, and the ability to apply that knowledge is what matters. I say good job to Prince Harry, he could've avoided the military all together, but chose to fight.



"I am a Soldier, I fight where I am told, and I win where I fight." LTG Patton.

1 year done and gone

Almost 1 year has passed since I returned from the war. I have spent the last 11 months on Active duty at Fort Lewis, where my little adventure started, training Soldiers, Sailors, and Airman getting ready to head downrange.

I live by myself, and I am single, for the first time in my adult life, and that has been interesting to say the least. I have been assigned to an Infantry(Training) unit, and I love my job. I am still trying to sort out my past life with my ex, as we still own a house together. As soon as I returned the market went to shit, and hasn't yet recovered. We are civil to each other, but the last time that I was in LA, I got the feeling that she was a bit scared of me, and that hurts, I never would, nor have I ever raised a hand to hurt her. I have spent some time in Portland, Seattle, and several trips back to Phoenix to see the family, but through it all, I remain alone.

I have found that returning home was much harder than I anticipated. In some ways, I still haven't found the peace that I've been searching for. I have no real emotions to speak of, and though I try, I find myself wanting to return to Afghanistan in search of something that I think that I lost. Deep down I know that I can never recover it, but the urge to try is great.

My orders keeping me at Lewis are set to expire in 60 days or so, I am in the process of trying to extend for another year, but must make plans in case that it doesn't happen. I can either say Fuck it! and let my house go, stay in Washington, and ruin my financial future for the foreseeable future, or I can go back to LA and work at my job and try and find another deployment to go on. The CA Guard is sending a task force to Kosovo sometime in the near future, and that's a part of the world that I've never seen before. That's an option, or there's always Iraq, the big dance. I can only influence the future, not control it. So I'll do what I can, and we'll see how the cards play out.

Bizarro World

I've been asked alot over the last 10 months of my deployment, "whats it like over there?" There are several analogies that come to mind. The one that I use the most, is, "imagine being pulled off of Earth, and dropped on an entirely new planet." That one doesn't really fit the more that I think about it. Another one frequently used, " imagine that 14th century Europe collided with the 21st century." Meaning that these people are medieval, in actions, infrastructure, societal views, etc. The funniest one that I can think of is that its like living in a National Geographic documentary. Observing the locals is one of the few things that I can do, to relieve boredom, and make my mundane 12 hour shift go by fast. I've always been a fan of people watching, however, this is just too fun. From the local cops who habitually beat and rob the locals, to the children who can curse better in English(or German, or Italian, or French, or even Spanish) than I can. I wish that average Americans could come here and spend a week seeing what I see, and see what oppression(women treated less than cattle), and abject poverty really looks like.

One of my favorite pastimes, I hate to admit, is embarrassing some of the local contract drivers that work on the compound. They pick up our trash, pump the septic tanks, and other tasks that we don't have to do. Often as not, they have Western skin mags somewhere in the cabs of their trucks. When I find it, I will walk over to the group of drivers, ask who it belongs to, and inevitably, the guy is snitched out by his friends. I smile, laugh, and call him a bad Muslim. They get embarrassed, and usually throw it away. I am not one to begrudge a man some porn, but the double standard thatwe are expected to adhere to is asinine.

We are not supposed to even acknowledge their women, but they can look at ours? They mock our culture, and yet revel in it underground? WTF. Pointing this out to them, is fun, and I'm probably not making any points with Karma for it, but who cares. The point is, that these, like any other "religious" countries, have the same variation of people who adhere to its doctrine as we do. Some are very pious, and some pretend to be. Can't wait to go home, and leave this Bizarro World and head back to Earth.

Saying Goodbye..

There are certain people here that have seemed to bond here, as one would imagine. This is different. The base that I am on is very small, maybe 800 people at most, mostly senior ranking officers and senior enlisted, and very much like a small town. There are very few of us that don't fit that bill. There are elements here, between my unit, the medics at the clinic, the PSD(Personal Security Details), and some other odds and ends that become good friends. The medics are leaving. The time for us to start rotating back has arrived. Its them first, then the PSD people, then finally us. This is a group of Soldiers, Active and Guard, from California to Indiana to Germany, MP's, medics, FP's(Force Protection), and a couple of others that have managed to belong. As I watch these people leave, I am happy that they get to go home, but also saddened at the same time, its very difficult to explain. They lost one of their own this trip, and luckily no one else, as medics have one of the roughest jobs in the Army. They go back to Fort Drum, and I said goodbye tonight. I will remember them always, and attempt to stay in touch, but as with all things, intentions are there, but life happens.

New Year

Well, well, here we are into the 3rd week of the new year, and guess what, feels like the last one, except colder. I am almost out of the black hole that has been my life for the last year and some change.

Some good things have happened over this time period though. I have a new nephew that I haven't even met. My little brother is a dad, and I can't wait to see Keegan. Via the internet, I have managed to reconnect with some long lost friends that will make my trip to Phoenix much more enjoyable than an ordinary trip would be. The year is looking bright, better than the last one started off. Within the next 75 days, I will be back in the States, back in California, and happy not carrying a weapon everywhere I go.

The SO and I split up right before the New Year. Its painful, but it was neccessary. I still love her as much as I always have, and we still have alot shit to sort through in the coming months, but who knows where it will take us. Always, the only thing that I have wanted for her is to be happy, whatever that means. She has been, and will for the foreseeable future continue to be a huge influence in my life. I would not be the man that I am today without her love, and guidance. Oh well.

Illusions..

We all have them. Some are for our own benefit, others are for the sanity of those in our lives. Why are people so afraid to be themselves? This question has been posed in many forms and many ways by alot of people. Is there an answer? I think that each person has to find it within themselves to answer that.

I was talking to female friend from junior high that I have recently got back into contact with. Her and I were discussing failed relationships. Hers and mine. She was saying the typical men are pigs who can't commit and all that other shit, but I was saying that most relatioships fail because everyone lies. They mostly lie to themselves. In my experience, people are afraid to really see what is happening in their lives. So they create these illusions about those that are in our lives. It usually manifests itself into the "if I love him/her enough they'll change." The fact is, most people will not change unless they want to, they have to see the benefit and really want the alternative. Throw that in with the fact that most people are inherently selfish, and will do what is the easiest/most beneficial to them at that moment of time. This can be seen in familial relationships as well. Those that keep taking the alcoholic/drug addict/repeat criminal family member back into their lives. We know that this isn't healthy, but we still do it anyways.

So I say this for myself. My illusions are dead, done. I am no longer afraid to face the truth of people, and will no longer tolerate that behavior in others. The key is to be this way and not to be hurtful. Life is a painful process, that is the unavoidable truth, I can try and soften it as much as possible, but that will not alleviate pain. I will however temper this with the knowledge that the blunt, honest truth, by itself isn't always the answer. It can be used as a bludgeon to slam people for no reason. I may keep some truths to myself, those that serve no benefit of any kind. I think that as I go into my 3rd decade on this Earth, that with the maturity and clarity, that goes with my unique life experiences, I hope that I will be a better person for the lies that I have told myself. Maybe just knowing this will stop me every once in a while and I will ask myself: "Am I being honest with myself?"

Time Marches On...

Well into the ninth month of a 12 month deployment, 16 months away from home when this is all said and done. I have less than 100 days left, and the time seems to be standing still. Maybe its the Christmas Season, the end of the year, or just the fact that I am burned out that is making December the longest month in the history of man.


In a year from now, my life will be much different than it is today, most won't even recongnize it. I will have a new job, possibly a new address, and possibly be single for the first time in almost 10 years. Time is the one thing that is constant, there is nothing that we can do about it. I often find it hard to focus on what is going on here, and focus more on what is going at home, both good and bad. 12 hours in a guard tower leaves one with a lot of time to think. I am anxious to get on with it, enough of this, I am tired, I want to go home, I want the other shoe to drop one way or the other, and I want to see my family, my SO, and my country that I have given so much for. I have learned whatever lessons I was supposed to over here. Life is the greatest teacher that one has, but what else can I learn here? How to hurt? Check. How to be scared? Check. How to appreciate those things that are REALLY important in my life? Check. How to miss my family, and my entire way of life? Check. How to move on with my life? That one will have to wait for a few more months. I will be back in the Springtime. Not my favorite time of year, but one that is perfect symbol of rebirth, that man has associated with that season for all time. Rebirth of the new me.

New Years Resolutions:

Be more patient with people.

Not to put back on the 45+ pounds that I've lost while over here.

To make smart decisions about all aspects of my life.

To learn to follow through with things. (this has been a big one my whole life)

To hold on to that feeling of wonderment about the little things in life that most people miss in their day to day lives.

To watch my nieces and nephews grow.

To get a job with a Fire Department.

To love like I've never been hurt.