13 Names Etched in Stone

That is the number if California National Guardsman that have died in combat. There is a small shrine to them built on Cp Roberts. It was built as a fountain back in the 40's when Bob was a POW camp. It was built by Italian POW's. It was discovered during new construction, and turned into its present form. Its both beautiful and sobering at the same time. These were men that went off and left families. They were as young as 19 (a baby) and as old as 43(still young in my book). I think that I am more scared of leaving my family behind to go on, and failing my comrades than I am of dying.

I have been accused of being brainwashed by some, and this may be true to a certain extent, but there is a certain nobility in being a Soldier. A certain trait that drives people to serve something greater than themselves. The thought of my mother changing the inevitable blue star to a gold one(people with family members deployed to war hang a flag with a red border, white background, and a blue star, one for each member deployed. This star changes to gold when a member of the family is killed), makes me sick. I believe that some of us are destined to do or be certain things in our lives. Some are cops, teachers, lawyers. Some of us are Soldiers. We are called scum by some, babykillers by others, heroes, and 1000 other names. All of those do a disservice to everyone who wears a uniform. We are no different than any one else, we CHOSE(or were chosen, some would say) to do something that most others wouldn't do. We love, we hate, we have our faults just like anyone else.

When I see those names on that fountain, the crossed rifles, my heart is heavy with sadness. I would hope that all people, regardless of your views of the war, would take time and think about the 2100 or so men and women that left and came back under the American flag. The next time you walk down the street, or are driving down the freeway, please take a minute and think about those that will never see those things again, and ask yourself, what would it take for you to fight?


Sorry for the sanguine nature of this post, I am feeling kind of melancholy lately and a little depressed, it will pass. Its not in my nature to be depressed for long, I am too much of a goofy dork to be in a funk for long.


EDIT: Just minutes after I finished writing this, I was informed(as are all Full Time Guard), that 3 members of the California Army National Guard, were killed on 3 consecutive days. Friday was not a good day for us. My heart and prayers go out to the families. Bringing the total of 16 names etched in stone.

Downsizing

Well, the way-to-expensive house is ours now. Its a real pain in the ass going from 1600 sq ft, to 1200 sq ft, to 950 sq ft. Over the course of the last 5 years, the SO(significant other) and I have accumulated alot of crap. We are right back to the size of the living area that we started in. Our first apt was 1000 sq feet and we paid $580 a month in Olympia. Then it was off to a 750sq ft apt in LA, then the house and now to the current house. Don't get me wrong this house is beautiful, with gardens in both the front and backyards, and its closer to the beach than any house I'd ever thought that we'd be able to afford. So, overall, I am happy.

We visited our old town in the High Desert's outside of LA this week. I went by the old house just to see what the new owners had done to it. When I saw it, my heart was broken. It sits vacant, and my beautiful front yard, especially my rosebushes are all dead. I understand that its not mine anymore, but just the shock of seeing something that was once mine, languishing like that, is infuriating. I felt like breaking in and firebombing the thing.

I must extend a heartfelt thanks to my brother and sister-in-law, and my very good friend KB, for helping us move this last weekend. Without them, it would have been impossible to do it in one day. I have to go get my truck this weekend, and say thanks to my adopted California family the Hill's. They have stored my truck for the last 5 months while we sat in Downtown. They live in an area on the way to Vegas, and its my best friends parents, they adopted me while my friend was still on active duty, and became my de facto parents (thanks Jim and Cherie, I love you both). He and I met while I was on active duty, and I settled in the same region that he grew up in. Funny how life does that to you eh? Well the rest of the month is going to spent getting ready for another 2 week excursion to the Central Coast, and then getting the house squared away before the Big Show later on in the year.