Bringing the Suck..

Thats the term that we use when something is horribly screwed up, and yet we know that we have to do it and so we embrace it, and get through it. I just got back from a wonderful 4 day visit that included an incredible night in a hotel in downtown Long Beach, a visit with my parents, seeing my brother and sister-in-law, and just being normal again. The visit with the SO was great. It took us a couple of days to get used to each other again, but the end was bad.

Leaving home for the 3rd time, lat night was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It will be at least 6 months before I see her beautiful smile again, hold her in my arms, smell her hair after she gets out of the shower...etc. It sucks, so I embrace it, and I go with the love of her and my family, and go on about the business of war, and hope to come home to my adopted home town, and to the woman that I left behind, like I said, Bring the Suck..

The time has come...

The sunrise coming up over some of our
Guntrucks during training.



to leave this place. Its showtime ladies and germs. I get a few days at home next week, and then its off to the bad place. Let the clock start. This is going to get real interesting over the next couple of weeks. I am getting ready to spend another year of my life away from my loved ones. The first one was in Korea, and this sure as hell ain't that one. Carrying around a loaded rifle and handgun for the next year, is a sobering thought.

As I was on the bus today on my way to another class about Muslim culture and such, I was looking at the people that I will be depending on for my life and me theirs. It is a big responsibility that we have. Instead of fighting for my country, I am going to fight for someone else's. I believe in this mission, this is where the Global War on Terror started. In case you haven't figured it out by now, I am going to Afghanistan. If Korea was the forgotten war, then this one is the Invisible one. Everyone assumes that I am going to Iraq.

As I looked upon the faces of my comrades, I was struck by the fact that if you took most of us out of this situation, most of us wouldn't even associate with one another. Where else can a group of people, some aren't even citizens of this nation, and the rest of us come from every conceivible background and racial make-up that one can imagine, get together and forge bonds that are stronger than that with which we have with our families. It's something that John Q. Public can't even fathom.

I may end up losing everything that I have worked my adult life working for. My house, my mate, my job and my career. I fully intend to get out of the military when this is all over. The strain is too much. I will walk away from an 11 year career. This is all that I have ever known. I hate to admit it, but I am institutionalized. I hope that I can pick up my life where I left off, but the future isn't set. I may be a 29 year old man that has to start my life over again by myself. That sucks, and that is not my intention, I love her and want to stay with her, but neither one of us will be the same when this is over.

Is it worth it? Who knows. I have said it before, unless there is a personal stake in this, the rest of America doesn't care about its military members. We 1% bear the brunt of the defense of the other 99%. We are all volunteered for this, the sacrifices are part of that deal. So be it. I am bound and determined for this not to be the pivotal point of my life, it will be one of many, but not the one. I will come home and enjoy for a few days the fruits of my labor. A brief, few precious hours of normalcy before its off to combat. I will enjoy the smell of the Pacific, the taste of LA's restaurants, the traffic, and an all to brief visit with the parental units. I hope everyone knows how I feel about them. I have tried to make sure that all who have touched my life know what they mean to me. One can only prepare for the future, but it is not always what we want it to be.......