Funk, and The Day That Never Ends..

Well, here I sit, on a Friday afternoon, off shift, and I am wondering what life is like back in the States. I sit here and wonder what my family is doing at this moment, what I will be doing this time next year, and will I ever wake up from this bad dream. Been back 3 weeks and already the images of the World have started to fade. If I close my eyes, I can see my home, my dogs, my cats, and the SO. So much life has already happened, and I have missed it. Was it worth it? Doubtful. What will I be when I come out of this experience? Who knows. Will I be a stronger person? A resounding yes. Will the people there even care that I have the label of war veteran? No, only those that know me personally.

I refuse to let this experience define who I am. This will always be a part of who I am, but not what I am. Damn, I hate this place.

If you have ever seen the movie Groundhog Day, then that pretty much sums up my life. Every day is the same, little variation. Thats a good thing outside the wire, but inside, I have an inkling what prisoners feel. (if they were allowed to carry guns). So we go on.

Ramadan, Suicide Bombers, and a New Name..

Well, well, here we sit in Central Asia with only 2 more weeks of Ramadan left. Ramadan for those that don't know is the holy month in the Muslim calendar, when the faithful do not consume any food, liquid, smoke, etc during the hours of sunlight, then at the end of the day, they all gather and eat and celebrate their families and the wholesome goodness of Allah. This is proving to be both a pro and a con for those of us visiting this little corner of the globe that aren't one of the "faithful". You see, during the day, our Dining Facilities here on base serve 4 meals a day, and on any normal day, in any normal month, you are forced to stand behind dozens of the locals who work on post as they are allowed to share our food, only fair, they work with/for us and the menu is surprisingly Islam friendly. This can often be frustrating as we have to wait in line for substandard food, and that makes the dining experience that much worse. With Ramadan being here, that whole thing is gone for breakfast, lunch, and the early hours of dinner. Also with Ramadan, I have seen the locals here on base, sneak food, water, and the occasional cigarette proving that Muslims here are people like any other, and that they observe the many varying levels of faith that the rest of us do. Which brings me to my next subject, the Suicide Bomber..

We had one yesterday in our area that killed 2 locals, and wounded at least a dozen more, don't think that it made the news, but that isn't really anything new, this war seldom makes the news. I was once told by friends of mine that during Ramadan, the number of attacks would increase, and damned if he wasn't right. So the moral of the story is that hungry, thirsty, fanatical people of all stripes are nuts. What goes on in the mind of someone that decides to strap on explosives, walks into a crowd, and detonates themselves? Fanatics, hate all stripes of them. I am more than willing to die and kill for what I believe, but to take innocents with me, come on, I'm calling bullshit.

The Taliban are back in Kabul, all you have to do is drive around this city a little while and you will see them. Dark, bearded men with turbans that stare very hardly at Coalition patrols and Soldiers. While it may be difficult to determine who is a Talib, and who is not in the countryside, not so much here in Kabul. The local Afghan's if they have beards, are short, and also if you look close enough you can tell the difference between the Hazara's(Asian features), the Tajiks(Lighter skin tones, and more European looking) , and the predominately Pashtu Taliban(Darker skin, darker eyes, a little rounder than both the Tajiks and the Hazaras). So we watch them, and they us, and hopefully the machine guns keep them away from us and send them over to attack someone else who will be allowed to shoot them(God, how these bastards deserve to die).

Final Thought: Started playing a new game on Xbox, is called The Suffering:Ties That Bind. I mentioned this to another Soldier, and they said that it sounded alot like Afghanistan, I have to agree.

Gone, and Back Again.

Well, the trip home was a wonderous success. I enjoyed 15 days of outstanding time away from the warzone and being a normal, American again. I have only a few months left here and I am on the downhill side of my year in The Suck. The trip started off a little hair-raising, we left after 11 SEP, and the trip to the Airbase was mostly uneventful. I must say that I was a bit of a mess on the drive out there due to the fact that it has heated up over here of late, and the anxiety of going home. Being away from home for 10 months was bad enough, but not knowing how I was going to react to everyday mundane things was a bit unnerving.

The trip home took 3 days, and I arrived in Long Beach at 2 PM on a Thursday. The SO had surprised me by taking the day off of work, and was there when I arrived. I have to admit, that seeing was a bit of a shock, and I loved the fact that she was there to greet me. Going into an empty house would have been a bit depressing. There was a bit of a settling in period for both of us, but a few days later, things were back to semi-normal. Thankfully it only took a couple of days for me to adjust, and the transition was much smoother than I thought it would be.

About a week into the trip, we took off for Hawaii, Kauai to be exact for 4 days of sun, beaches, and great food, and just all around lying around. It was exactly what I needed. The last few days there flew by and before I knew it, I was on a plane coming back to this wonderful little spot of paradise known as Kabul. The trip back took 3 days, and I was here, pissed off and just a little irritable. I thoroughly enjoyed my time at home, regardless of the problems that myself and the SO have. Of course nothing really got solved, but it wasn't supposed to, I went home to enjoy my time with her and away from here. Those problems still exist and won't be worked out until I get home for good.

A few thoughts:

It felt like I was a stranger in my own life. My world quit in DEC '05, everyone else's continued on.

Its easier to be over here and not dealing with problems, than it is being home and having to be a fully functioning human being with responsibilities, realtionships, and the like. Not that that doesn't exist here, but they are much more cut and dry than they are back home.

Enjoyed a day with my mother and step-dad, they flew out to see me and I am glad that I got to see them. I wish that I had had the time to go back to AZ and see the rest of my family, as I miss them terribly, but this trip was for me.

Saw my Uncle, who is a Naval Officer now stationed close to where I live, it will be good to have family close by when I return home.